Today, I went to the psychic.

Most people I tell this are totally confused. Does no one I know understand the “checklist of life”? Why did I go to the psychic? So I could say I’d been to a fricking psychic, durrr!

Okay, so we walk in, and (shit, she probably had a really psychic esque name and I forgot to ask) it’s purple. Purple everywhere. Purple carpet, and lavender walls, and purple beads/curtains between the “reading” area and the sort of living room dealio. Actually I’m pretty sure the only thing I said to Bryan the entire time we were inside was “oh my god purple carpet.” So Bryan goes first cause it was his idea and I was chicken. I sat on the couch with its purple cushions. I managed not to giggle the ENTIRE time I was there–it was as miracle. He was told he was going to marry a white girl, and that he has a good aura, and lots of other good things. He went for the palm reading, which I decided against because a) I would get nervous and then she would touch my hands and know and b) there was a B at the time but I can’t remember it anymore. Instead, I did tarot. So she flipped a bunch of cards, and stared into space for a really long time trying to come up with something about me. We talked about my periods (which are normal, thank you) and how I’m going to have a hysterectomy sometime…but not too serious don’t worry (that was sort of her over arching theme), and I’ll have 2 children, the younger of which will be more successful, one “successful marriage” to someone of a different race who I will marry in 5-6 years, and I should watch out for driving accidents/speeding tickets (I almost rear ended someone on the way to the psychic). I’m also going to have a good vacation within the US sometime this year, and I’m going to begin a relationship with someone who will deceive me. I have this problem where when I talk to people I don’t know very well, I really want to please them when they ask me a question. This is useful in job interviews. It’s not useful when you’ve paid someone to talk to you. So she would ask things like “oh, it looks like you’re going to live a long life…does long life run in your family?” and I would nod along and agree, even though I have no fricking clue.  Both Bryan and I were a bit taken aback by the “so do you have any questions for me” period. But on the bright side, we can call her anytime to ask her a question. I was told not to share my reading for 6 weeks for good luck. So I’m posting it on the internet.


One Comment on “Today, I went to the psychic.”

  1. Cathy says:

    Well that’s completely awesome. I should go to a psychic someday…

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